


Hold On To Me ('cause I'm A Little Unsteady)

by maxiswriting



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Angst, Deceit's name in this is Declan, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Kind of a vent fic, Kinda, Max can't tag to save their life, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Good Friend, Wrote this at 3 AM, and he's kind of an asshole, but what else is new, emotional breakdown, platonic but can be read as shippy, where can I find one, you guys decide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 14:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16451306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxiswriting/pseuds/maxiswriting
Summary: It’s almost midnight when Virgil knocks at Patton’s door.It’s late, he knows, and it’s also Sunday night, which means that every college student in town is probably asleep or panicking over some last minute assignment. That’s why he hasn’t gone to Logan or even Roman. He knows both of them have classes in the morning, and he doesn’t want to bother them.But he knows Patton has Monday free of classes -because they basically share the same schedule- and he feels less guilty about knocking at his door so late at night. Also, he really needs to talk to somebody right now, and he knows Patton –sweet, too-kind-for-his-own-good Patton- won’t turn him away.





	Hold On To Me ('cause I'm A Little Unsteady)

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little vent fic I wrote yesterday night because my roommate really pissed me off and I needed to find an outlet for my rage or I was gonna end up punching her in the face. So yeah, time to project onto Virgil, whoops.

It’s almost midnight when Virgil knocks at Patton’s door.

It’s late, he knows, and it’s also Sunday night, which means that every college student in town is probably asleep or panicking over some last minute assignment. That’s why he hasn’t gone to Logan or even Roman. He knows both of them have classes in the morning, and he doesn’t want to bother them.

But he knows Patton has Monday free of classes -because they basically share the same schedule- and he feels less guilty about knocking at his door so late at night. Also, he really needs to talk to somebody right now, and he knows Patton –sweet, too-kind-for-his-own-good Patton- won’t turn him away.

Unsurprisingly, Patton’s voice comes almost immediately, bouncy steps quickly approaching. Patton swings his door open with a smile on his face –without even checking who could be knocking at his door this late at night, they really need to have a little talk about this- dressed in his favorite cat onesie.

 “Can I come in?” Virgil asks, not quite able to hide the tremble in his voice. Patton frowns, gaze full of concern as he takes in his disheveled appearance and the absence of a jacket –which, with how cold it is at night, is something quite worrying. Virgil looks away, hugging his hoodie tighter around himself.

“Of course!” Patton says, stepping aside to let him in, “go sit on the couch, I’m going to get some blankets. God, you must be freezing!”

Virgil simply nods, not trusting his voice just yet, and moves towards the living room, settling on one end of the couch while trying to stop his shivering. Patton joins him a few minutes later, somehow balancing in his hands a pile of fluffy blankets and two fuming cups –he must have made a little detour to the kitchen.

Still shivering, Virgil ends up wrapped in three blankets, accepting the mug Patton offers him with a small smile.

“I made some hot chocolate,” Patton explains, sitting on the other side of the couch, “it’s a special recipe my grandma taught me. it’s the perfect pick-me-up for when you feel down in the dumps.”

Virgil hums, blowing a little in his mug before taking a tentative sip. The rich, thick taste of chocolate immediately fills his mouth, followed by something sweet he can’t quite describe. It fills him with warmth, almost like he’s being hugged from the inside out.

Before he knows it, the lump in his throat is back, and suddenly it’s just too much. He bursts into tears, his chest tightening with each breath he takes, and everything just seems to crash down on him.

Distantly, he feels Patton quickly move to sit in front of him, gently grabbing the mug from his shaking hands and moving it to the coffee table. Through the blurriness of his tears, Virgil manages to make out Patton’s hands hovering over his, in a silent request of permission. Gasping for air between one sob and another, he nods, letting his friend gently grab his hands. He feels Patton’s finger tap a familiar rhythm on his skin and focuses on it, blocking out any other thoughts that aren’t Patton’s hand gently tapping on his wrist or his calm, warm voice that guides him through the breathing exercise.

It takes him some time, heart beating erratically in his chest and thoughts swimming wildly in his head, but in the end, Virgil manages to calm down some, basically collapsing onto Patton as he tries to stop the tears from falling.

Patton simply hums, holding him close and soothingly stroking his back.

“Sorry,” Virgil finally mutters, face still hidden on the other’s shoulder, “didn’t mean to break down on you like that.”

Patton shakes his head, gently pushing him up until he can look at him in the eye. “Don’t ever apologize about something like this, kiddo.” He says, voice so warm and reassuring that Virgil feels his eyes start stinging once again with unshed tears, “It’s obvious you needed to let it out, and I’m just glad you choose to come to me rather than deal with it on your own.” He leans in, kissing his forehead and yup, Virgil is going to start crying again if Patton keeps this up. “I’m proud of you, Virgil.”

Virgil looks away, eyes wet and cheeks warm, mumbling out a “thank you” as he forces his tears back.

Patton looks at him, biting the inside of his cheek as he obviously ponders something in his head.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, before quickly backpedaling as soon as he sees Virgil stiffening in front of him, “I mean, obviously you don’t have to, we can just stay here and have some sort of sleepover, maybe watch something together and-”

“Pat,” Virgil interjects, interrupting his ranting with a little smile on his face, “it’s okay. I don’t mind.”

“You sure?” Patton asks, still a little worried. Virgil nods, before quietly shuffling so that he’s sitting beside Patton with his head on the other’s shoulder.

“It’s just-” he starts, struggling to find the right words, “It’s kind of stupid, actually.”

“It’s not stupid if it made you have a meltdown not even five minutes ago.” Patton points out, smiling encouragingly.

“It’s just, you know how my roommate has been out the whole weekend because of a tournament, right?” Patton nods, remembering that Virgil had mentioned it during one of their breaks, “Well, I was planning to work on some assignments, and I’ve been struggling so much with that worksheet we have to do for our Russian class. When Declan got home I was already so frustrated and overall just in a bad mood and he just decided to turn on his music at maximum volume.

Which hey, I love music as much as the next guy, but loud music makes it hard for me to concentrate even on the smallest of things, and it was just becoming too much but when I asked him to turn it down he just refused because ‘you can work on that even with the music on, you just need to concentrate harder!’. But that was not the point, because the noise was just too much, and I ended up cooped up in the bedroom with the door closed to try and muffle the music but it was still loud and I ended up doing nothing.

And then after dinner, he just tells me to wash the dishes even if it’s his turn and he hasn’t been home in days and I washed the dishes for him on Friday too, even if, again, it was his turn. And, I dunno, it just became too much and I yelled at him and next thing I know, I’m walking down the street in the middle of the night without a jacket, already halfway towards your place.”

Virgil takes in a shuddering breath, closing his eyes to try and will his beating heart to calm down. He can feel himself spiraling towards another meltdown by just talking about it, but he doesn’t want to go through that again. Beside him, Patton keeps stroking his back, a solid presence that helps him stay grounded and not lose himself in his panicking thoughts.

“I probably overreacted, didn’t I?” he groans, shaking his head. God, he feels like an idiot.

“No Virge, your roommate is the one who’s wrong and you have every right to feel the way you do right now,” Patton tells him firmly, using the arm already positioned around the smaller boy’s shoulders to drag Virgil in a one-sided hug. “This is not the first time something like this happened, isn’t it?”

Virgil shakes his head, looking down at his hands. “It’s just, every time I try to tell him that something bothers me or makes me uncomfortable he simply points out how it’s not a problem for him and if he’s fine with it then obviously I’m just overreacting and I need to get over it. And those few times I ask him to do one of my chores because I’m just too tired or I can’t for some reason he constantly points out how him being a pre-med student who’s also a professional athlete means I have no right to complain, because since I’m studying Foreign Languages I have to study basically nothing and he’s obviously more tired than me.”

Patton sighs, shifting the both of them so that he can envelop Virgil in an actual hug. “He really sounds like an asshole.”

Virgil lets out a startled laughter at that, eyes going wide as he realizes that yep, innocent, loving Patton actually both swore and said something bad about somebody else. “Patton!”

The other shrugs, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips. “What? It’s true!”

Virgil shakes his head, still chuckling, and basically slumps onto Patton, eyes closed and expression finally relaxed. The latter smiles at that, hand moving to Virgil’s hair and gently stroking his dark bangs out of his face. “Wanna stay here for tonight? I can give you something more comfortable to change into.”

Wordlessly, Virgil nods, his exhaustion suddenly crashing onto him. Even just keeping his eyes open a fraction costs him an incredible amount of effort.

The next fifteen minutes are nothing more than a blur for Virgil, who, next thing he knows, finds himself tucked into Patton’s bed, the other leaving a kiss on his forehead before bidding him goodnight.

Without even thinking, Virgil’s arm shoots out of the covers and towards Patton’s retreating figure, fingers gripping on the hem of the boy’s shirt. Patton turns, startled by Virgil’s sudden movement, and looks at the other, eyebrows raised in question.

“Stay. Please.” Virgil murmurs, voice half slurred but still clear enough to get the message across. Patton’s eyes widen, a smile appearing on his lips as he lets out a chuckle.

“Okay.” He answers back, voice low and warm, and moves to lay down beside the smaller boy. Virgil lets out a contented hum and immediately cuddles close into Patton’s warm embrace.

And just like that, the two boys finally fall asleep.

  ****

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr at [@max-is-tired](https://max-is-tired.tumblr.com) to hear me cry at three in the morning bc I can't write for shit, I need friends anyways :')


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